


You’ve Got Something I Need

by takeitoffhemmo



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Some Fluff, Some angst, kind of cute?, song au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 10:41:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12408801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takeitoffhemmo/pseuds/takeitoffhemmo
Summary: Victor can’t sleep and he doesn’t know what to do with the fact hepossiblyonly has one life with Yuuri.One shot based on the song “Something I Need” by OneRepublic.





	You’ve Got Something I Need

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea if anyone’s already done this but i was listening to OneRepublic’s album _Native_ and thought of this au when Something I Need came on. 
> 
> Not entirely sure if i’m happy with the outcome, but please be gentle this is only my second time writing Yuuri and Victor. 
> 
> Please enjoy! 
> 
> You can listen to the song [here](https://open.spotify.com/track/4KANJH1baadr3U7XsVbM17?si=7z7VbMRi)

_I had a dream the other night about how we only get one life. It woke me up right after two; I stayed awake and stared at you so I wouldn’t lose my mind_

Victor wakes up sweating and breathing hard. His chest feels heavy and it's difficult for him to catch a solid breath. After struggling for a few moments he manages to suck in the much needed air and regulate his breathing again. 

He rolls over and props his head on his arm. Staring down at the Japanese man lying in the bed beside him he begins to feel slightly better. The overwhelming sense of dread still tingles in the back of his mind though. What if he had never found Yuuri in this life? What would his life be like? He only gets this one life after all, unless reincarnation is real which he doesn't completely deny, but he'll only remember this life anyways. The idea that he only has one life is what woke him so suddenly and horribly. Yuuri's soft breathing beside him steadies him though. He has Yuuri in this life. He smiles when Yuuri shifts in his sleep, moving closer to Victor as if subconsciously knowing Victor's distressed and far away. 

Victor doesn't sleep anymore that night, but he watches Yuuri the whole time.  
(Yes, he felt completely like a creep, but Yuuri's so beautiful he couldn't look away).  


_And I had the week that came from hell. And yes I know that you could tell, but you’re like the net under the ledge: when I go flying off the edge you go flying off as well_

Everything seemed to be going wrong in practice and at home. Makkachin was feeling sick for reasons unknown to both Victor and Yuuri. They spent the week cleaning up vomit and calling the vet almost daily. The vet continuously assured them Makka only had the flu and would be better soon. It didn't stop them from fussing and worrying themselves just as sick as the dog. 

Victor flubbed jumps he hadn't messed up since his Juniors days. He couldn't remember his choreography and he was distracted every time his blades slid across the ice. His inability to find peace on the ice, a place he'd always considered a happy place, was increasingly frustrating. He felt like all of his advice for Yuuri was unhelpful and only holding his husband back from his full potential. Yurio kept yelling at him more than usual too. He just couldn't seem to keep up. 

"Victor, let's go out for a walk," Yuuri suggests one night after Victor returned from a private practice with Yakov. 

Sighing, Victor nods his head and follows Yuuri out the door. They walk around their apartment and eventually Yuuri leads them to a nearby park. They've been to the park many times before and Victor recalls the happy memories as they stroll through it in comfortable silence. 

They reach the middle of the park and Yuuri stops them. He takes Victor's hands into his own and makes sure Victor is looking at him before he speaks. "I know you've been having a rough week. Makka has been sick and practice hasn't been going how you'd like. I don't know what's going on fully, but I want you to know that I'm always ready to listen. I love you, Vitya." 

Victor softens at Yuuri's words. He raises their hands and kisses them. "I guess a lot piled up on me. I'll be okay though since I have you. I love you too, baby." 

Yuuri smiles and his cheeks flush a light pink. "So, we're okay?" he asks. 

Victor nods. "We're okay." 

_You got something I need. In this world full of people there's one killing me. And if we only die once, I wanna die with you_

Victor can't sleep again. He stays awake staring at Yuuri again. He decides that if reincarnation isn't possible he's glad that he gets this life with Yuuri and he hopes they spend the rest of it together. He doesn't know what he'd do without Yuuri. He doesn't know what he was doing before Yuuri. He's found meaning to his life again with Yuuri.  


_You got something I need. In this world full of people there's one killing me. And if we only die once, I wanna die with you_  


It's a thought he can't let go of. He doesn't know how to shake it. He loves Yuuri and can't imagine finishing his life with anyone else at his side. There's only Yuuri. He only wants to grow old and die with Yuuri. It's a terrifying but comforting thought.

Victor decides existential crisis doesn't look good on him. 

_Last night I think I drank too much. Yeah, call it our temporary crutch. With broken words I tried to say, “Honey don’t you be afraid, if we got nothing, we got us”_  


Victor knew he should've stopped three shots of vodka ago. Something compelled him to keep tossing the alcohol back though. He knows why he kept drinking. He can't stop thinking about his realization that he only has one life (possibly) and although he's happy with the life he's been given he's still shaken by the realization. He doesn't know how to bring it up to Yuuri. He knows Yuuri will have some incredibly great insight too and he won't have to suffer anymore. 

"Y-yuuri! Yuuri, why are you frowning? Don't be sad! We have forever together, doesn't that make you happy?" Victor drunkenly manages to say. He's surprised he managed to get so many words out with few mistakes. He's also surprised he almost told Yuuri why he's in his current mood.

"Victor, you've had too much to drink. I'm worried about you, is all. Of course I'm happy we have forever together. Why are you asking?" Yuuri replies with an exasperated, but fond smile. Ah, Victor really loves Yuuri. The Japanese man always makes his heart race in the best way. 

"It woke me up. We only get one life, unless reincarnation is a thing, but assuming it isn't, then one life. One life. That's a lot of pressure to get it right. Then we die someday. But it's okay because we'll be to-together," Victor explains the best he can through his inebriated thoughts. 

Yuuri's eyebrows scrunch together as he processes Victor's words. Victor thinks he's adorable. He hopes Yuuri doesn't think too hard about this though because then he'll flub easy jumps and never sleep again too. "It's okay. I thought about it for you so you don't have to worry," Victor assures Yuuri again. He doesn't need to take Yuuri down with him. 

"Victor, is this why you've been so...off?" Yuuri asks after a moment. 

Victor sadly nods his head. "Yeah. I haven't been sleeping well. These thoughts have overwhelmed me. They made me feel...somehow bigger and smaller at the same time. It made me question how my life would be without you. I decided it'd be terrible, but I shouldn't worry. I have you! You're right here!" 

“Victor...” Yuuri sighs. “Let’s get you to bed.” 

Yuuri slings one of Victor’s arms over his shoulder and then he walks them to their room. He slowly undresses Victor and then himself before joining Victor in bed. He wraps his arms around Victor and rests his head on the older man’s chest. 

“Please don’t worry tonight. I’ll always be here. We can talk tomorrow about it more,” Yuuri says and kisses Victor’s cheek. 

_You got something I need. In this world full of people, there's one killing me. And if we only die once, I wanna die with you_  


Victor finally sleeps the night through. He feels better knowing he told Yuuri his worries. They can figure it out tomorrow. Together. Because they have each other no matter what. 

_I know that we’re not the same, but I'm so damn glad that we made it to this time, this time now_  


The next morning Victor finds the other half of the bed empty. He feels the still warm spot that Yuuri occupied not long ago. Sighing, he rolls out of the warm bed and makes his way to the bathroom. He squints at his barely awake self in the mirror and presses his hand to his head. _I drank way too much_ , he thinks with another sigh. He hopes Yuuri isn’t too mad. He let things go too far. Stupid, Victor. No, it’ll be okay. 

He exits the bathroom after brushing his teeth and taking some Advil. Glorious smells waft from the kitchen and he follows the scent to find Yuuri at the stove singing under his breath and flipping a pancake. 

“Oh Yuuri, you didn’t have to,” Victor says as his eyes scan the small stack of pancakes already done on a plate to the side of the stove. The coffee pot gurgles and steams. Makka lifts her head up from where she was lying under the table. 

Yuuri turns to him and smiles. “It’s okay, Vitya. I wanted to. Sit. We have a lot to talk about.” 

Victor nods and slowly walks over to the table to sit down. Makka’s tail thumps against the floor and Victor scratches behind her ear. Yuuri finishes the last pancake and then carries the plate of food over to the table. He brings the coffee pot over next along with two mugs. His smile never wavers. Victor returns the smile as well. He wants to shower Yuuri in compliments and show how grateful he is for his lover, but he can tell Yuuri won’t appreciate that right now. 

After they’ve both poured their drink and grabbed the pancakes they want Yuuri looks at Victor with a serious expression. 

“Before you say anything, I want to apologize for my behavior. I should’ve talked with you sooner. I’m sorry for holding it in so long and letting things escalate. I know you want me to tell you when things aren’t going well because I want you to do the same with me. I promise to be better in the future. Yuuri, I love you. I’m sorry,” Victor confesses when he sees Yuuri begin to part his lips to speak. 

Yuuri stares at Victor for a few seconds before responding, “I just wanted to remind you that I’m always here for you. I don’t know what set off your existential crisis, but I agree. If we only get one life and one death I’m glad it’s with you. I love you, too.” 

“Can I kiss you now?” Victor asks. 

Yuuri laughs and nods. “Yes, you can.” 

Victor pushes his chair over to be next to Yuuri and then he turns Yuuri’s head towards him so they can kiss. They both smile into the kiss, so it’s not the most successful but it’s still one of Victor’s favorites.  


_If we only live once, I wanna live with you_

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always welcome! 
> 
> If you want to talk more come say hi on my [tumblr](http://lukesgoggles.tumblr.com/) or my [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/takeitoffhemmo) !
> 
> p.s. I tried editing this but if there’s still like weird formatting errors i’m sorry


End file.
